Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

Scientists point to one particular sleep stage as being most important for preventing dementia - Earth.com

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

What is the best way to keep my vagina clean and fresh?

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I understand how hurricane paths work

Thunder-Pacers: SGA, OKC rally to win Game 4 of NBA Finals - Al Jazeera

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

What was it like being spanked as a kid?

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

Scottie Scheffler Calls US Open at Oakmont 'The Hardest Golf Course...Maybe Ever' - Bleacher Report

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

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I can read

I can count

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

Is it possible for celebrities to remain anonymous in public without being recognized, even by accident?

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I don’t cotton to rapists

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I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

Cannabis can pack an unexpected punch for older users, experts warn - OregonLive.com

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

Animi velit error sapiente nihil.

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I see through liars

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I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

What is your response when someone says "how may I help you"?

I have complete contempt for fakery

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

‘When a door closes, another opens’ — Bayern Munich make peace with Florian Wirtz miss - Bavarian Football Works

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I have a reading level above third grade

How does it feel to watch your wife get fucked hard?

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

Packers will take on all of Jaire Alexander’s dead money on 2025 salary cap, per report - Acme Packing Company

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I actually pay taxes

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I don’t buy bullshit

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t